


TFLN -The Peterick Edition

by darkangel0410



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 00:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel0410/pseuds/darkangel0410
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Complete and utter ridiculousness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	TFLN -The Peterick Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Basicly I got the idea for this from looking at Text From Last Night; all the messages from each of these is from the site -I kept everything the same, spelling, context, etc., and just replaced the phone numbers with Pete or Patrick's or whoever's name.

**Pete:** did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?   
**Patrick:** Yeah -and if you burn your fingers again like last time, I will fucken strangle you.  
 **Pete:** …..is that suppose to discourage me? cuz i gotta tell you, it's not really working...

 

**Joe:** Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand. **Pete:** yea. i'm excited about this party too **Joe:** Do ya think we can check out before the hotel room finds the hole in the wall this time? **Pete:** i fucken hope so -andy'll kill us if we hafta shell out another five hundred bucks

 

**Patrick:** I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes? **Pete:** i could do it in ten if i was properly motivated **Patrick:** Is a blow job when I get back good? **Pete:** i can work with that -get your ass in here

 

**Andy:** YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES **Pete:** YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

 

**Joe:** so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. **Patrick:** He's hitting on bar stools? Now's the time to cut him off from the tequila, dude -I don't want him hitting on the dogs again when you drop him home.

 

**Pete:** a gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos **Andy:** Seriously, stop sending me pics of your boyfriend's dick!

 

**Pete:** if he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. i'm goin for it. **Patrick:** I don't think your sister is gonna appericate that... 

 

**Pete:** the bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. i'm gonna tie up the bf and wreck that. **Joe:** Why do you insist on telling me this shit? **Pete:** two reasons; 1 i like to watch you squirm, 2 your room is right next door and i don't want ya to call the cops when you hear all the screaming later on **Joe:** Why me? Seriously, WHY ME? **Pete:** just lucky, i guess

 

**Patrick:** Anderson Cooper just came out. **Pete:** crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. gonna decorate my dildo like my little pony in his honor **Patrick:** It amazes me that people think you're straight. 

 

**Patrick:** so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after??? **Pete:** all of the above, if you can sneak in a quickie in between sets

 

**Pete:** i have cum and leaves all over me. don't ask questions. **Patrick:** ….just hose yourself off before you crash on the couch.

 

**Patrick:** : I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date. **Pete:** want me to come over there and fall thru the table again like last time? **Patrick:** Yeah. Grab me a beer while you're at it? **Pete:** no prob, i got your back

 

**Joe:** All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am. **Pete:** you do look good in a suit **Joe:** Thanks.

 

**Andy:** how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. **Pete:** isn't there a law against getting tested three times in the same year? **Andy:** no -but remind me to never share a drink with you again. **Pete:** don't be such a prude

 

**Patrick:** Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again. **Pete:** don't be like that. you were having fun until you you fell off the stage at the strip joint and hit your head **Patrick:** What did I tell you about letting me having that much tequila? **Pete:** don't think it was the tequila that did it **Patrick:** Oh, yeah? What was it then? **Pete:** well, i told him not to give you all that x... **Patrick:** What?! Never again -do you hear me, asshole? **Pete:** fine. don't ever have fun again, it's not anything to me


End file.
